Earlier in my life, if you had told me that happiness was a choice, I would have told you that you were crazy. After all, no one chooses to experience things like the pain of low self-esteem, anxiety, or depression. But what I’ve come to realize is that happiness isn’t about leading an obstacle-free life — instead, it’s about learning how to change what you focus on and how you react to circumstances, regardless of whether they’re good or bad.
After dealing with feelings of anxiety and depression throughout my life — despite achieving outward success, wealth, and respect — I suffered a devastating breakdown at the age of 36. I can tell you unequivocally that money, success, and accolades aren’t going to make you happy. Happiness is the culmination of all the little actions, choices, and habits that fill your day.
I’ve identified 12 things that will help anyone begin to lead a happier life, especially if they’re added to your life one at a time, in the order in which they’re given.
Step 1: Exercise
Exercise is the single most important thing you can do to improve your life right now. It will begin to make you feel more relaxed, stronger, and more capable of handling life’s challenges — also, it will improve your sleep, and it’s a natural antidepressant that will help your attitude and outlook. Simply walking 20 minutes every other day is a great start.
Step 2: Take Charge Of Your Mind
If you want your thoughts and attitudes to be positive, you must fill your brain with encouraging ideas. Make motivational books and audio recordings part of your daily ritual. You’ll find that your attitude is improved and that you have learned new tools to eliminate your own self-doubt and self-criticism.
Step 3: Learn To Be Easier On Yourself
Until you give yourself permission to break free of the cycle of self-blame and negativity that causes you to be stuck, demanding perfection from yourself in every situation, you’ll never have a chance to be a truly relaxed, content, and happy person.
Step 4: Play To Your Strengths
We all possess special abilities and unique talents. And if you want to be happy, you need to recognize, use, and share them. Make it a goal to spend more time doing things you enjoy and are good at.
Step 5: Eliminate Stressors
Start by identifying the two or three things that cause you the most stress on a consistent basis, then determine if there are concrete things you can do to lessen or even eliminate the pressure. If you can’t eliminate or change a stressor, such as a job you hate but can’t afford to quit, challenge yourself to handle it differently.
Step 6: Live In The Present
If you’re ruminating on what’s already happened or fretting about what might come to pass, you’re exacerbating your anxiety and unhappiness by choosing to dwell on things you can’t change or control. In order to practice being in the present, forgive yourself and others for any past wrongs. Also, identify what, exactly, you dread about the future, and then plan how you’d deal with the worst-case scenario. Once you have begun to take control of your past- and future-oriented thoughts, you can truly begin to appreciate the present moment.
