Step 7: Spend More Time With Positive People
Gradually, you need to gravitate more toward positive influencers and less toward negative influencers. I know that it’s hard to put distance between yourself and a person who has been a big part of your life, but you’re at a crossroads. Would you rather maintain relationships that are familiar but built on negativity, or would you rather form new ones that will propel your happiness-journey forward?
Step 8: Strengthen Close Relationships
The quality of the relationships you have with the people you are the closest to can make or break the quality of your life. So, starting with your immediate family members and the people you see every day, and then working outward, reach out to the people who are meaningful to you, and tell them how important they are to you — especially your parents, children, and significant other.
Step 9: Be Friendlier
You can’t make others’ pain, stress or grief just magically disappear, but you can help them feel just a little bit lighter and happier on their journey, even if only for five seconds. When you make friendliness a habit, you’ll attract kindness and smiles in return, and you’ll feel great about yourself for making a positive difference in the world.
Step 10: Help Others
Reaching out a helping hand to someone who isn’t as fortunate as you tends to quash selfish impulses and highlight your own blessings. Giving of yourself doesn’t have to involve money, either — remember that your time, talents, and compassion are just as valuable as cash, if not more so. And if you have kids, you’ll be setting a wonderful example for them.
Step 11: Deepen Your Relationship With Your “Higher Power”
No matter what your specific spiritual beliefs are, seeing and feeling a higher presence in your life will enable you to move away from self-centeredness and focus your energy and concerns on the greater community. It’ll also provide solace and give meaning to unfortunate events and troubling life circumstances.
Step 12: Develop An Attitude of Gratitude
It’s important to be aware of all of your blessings, and to honor and thank those whom you owe for them. Once you start recording your blessings, you’ll be amazed by how long the list of people you have to thank for them is. And the humility that comes from knowing you owe so much to so many others will, in turn, spur you to give back more often to those less fortunate than yourself.
I can tell you from experience that happiness is something that’s largely within your control. No, you’ll never wake up and have the perfect day, with everything going just the way you’d like it to. But you can choose how you respond to life, and I promise that will make all the difference.
Todd Patkin is the author of “Finding Happiness: One Man’s Quest to Beat Depression and Anxiety and — Finally — Let the Sunshine In.”
This article was first published in Brain World Magazine’s print edition.
