(Finally) Changing Your Habits This Year

The core functions of the brain — particularly the prefrontal lobes of the cerebral cortex — are attention, regulation/control, and choice. These three play important roles when we learn new patterns of behavior. They can also be used very effectively when we’re changing existing patterns of behavior. First, recognize the moment when you’re about to follow your pattern of habitual behavior (attention). Second, choose not to follow that pattern (regulation). Third, immediately move your attention to another pattern of behavior (choice) — or, if you don’t have another behavior to replace it, simply inhale and exhale with a smile.

The moment when we’re about to follow a habitual pattern of behavior is our best and only opportunity to change that habit. Recognizing that you’re about to behave a certain way is like grasping the brain circuit that handles that habit. If you’re aware of the impulse and choose instead to follow a different pattern, change takes place in that habit circuit. When you want to smoke, for example, you might decide to get a drink of water instead; or when you want to yell at someone, you could choose to go out for a walk.

Because chemical balance hasn’t been restored by following the old habit, some instability may remain in your brain. Take a deep breath, and exhale with a gentle smile — and repeat this several times. The positive chemical reactions created by the oxygen from deep breathing and by the smile will help offset the instability.

Have a Positive Attitude Toward Yourself

When changing your habits isn’t working and you keep going back to your old ways, your brain is already in a stressful state. So if you take a negative attitude toward yourself at this time, it’s like rubbing salt in a wound. Don’t your efforts to change and to become a better person show your sincerity about life? To put it another way, don’t they mean that you’re a decent human being?

It might be hard for you to recognize when you’re about to follow a pattern of habitual behavior, then move your attention elsewhere instead. Even then, it’s good to have an attitude of gratitude for the experience rather than criticize yourself.

When we follow patterns of habitual behavior, pleasure hormones are secreted in our brains, letting them temporarily recover chemical balance. However, that balance is shattered by the regret, guilt, and self-degradation that immediately follow, bringing a state of imbalance that is difficult to endure. The effects of positive attitudes toward oneself are much deeper, stronger, and long-lasting than the temporary, pleasant effects obtained by acting according to habit.

Try to recall the powerful current that flowed through your head and body at a moment when you felt proud of yourself. Having good thoughts about oneself creates powerful effects in the brain. So congratulate yourself when you’ve succeeded in following a different pattern — and when you haven’t been successful, think of yourself as having learned what points are difficult. Have a positive attitude toward yourself in both cases, regardless of how things turn out.

Seek to Serve a Greater Cause

Sensual pleasure gives the brain temporary satisfaction. Positive thoughts about oneself, pride, and self-esteem give the brain greater satisfaction. The belief that you’re serving a greater cause — a value greater than yourself — gives the brain satisfaction that’s deeper than these two things put together. People often overcome their personal limitations through this power, and so can you.

You might wonder, “What in the world does a cause have to do with changing my habits?” But it means more than you might think. The world is already interconnected as a single whole, and the positive effects of changes you create in your life don’t stop with yourself. For example, eating more vegetables than meat is good for your health, but it also reduces your environmental impact on the earth. Producing animal-sourced food requires more than ten times the water and energy it takes to produce of plant-sourced food, and it generates more than ten times the waste. If making changes in your lifestyle could reduce the stress you put on the earth by one-tenth, wouldn’t that be a great enough cause to bring meaning to your life? There’s a big difference between thinking that changing my habits is good for my physical health alone and thinking that it’s good for me, it helps the earth, and it contributes to all humankind.

Provide this kind of information to your brain when you change your habits. Have a sincere intention and a sincere attitude about the meaning of your efforts, instead of just pretending to be happy about them. Your brain will be much more cooperative and will become an active participant in your efforts to change.

Be Consistent

Most of the stubborn habits you want to change weren’t formed in just a day or two. They’ve been repeated over a long period, so the associated brain circuits are well established. That’s why you can’t expect to change them in a day or two. You must have a stick-with-it attitude.

Do you know how many times you fell down when you were learning to crawl, sit up, and then stand up? It takes most children one to two weeks to attempt and completely master standing for the first time. During that time, they repeat those movements with indomitable will and passion, never giving up until they succeed. A child might try to stand 100 times a day, and if it takes ten days to succeed, they’ll have made approximately 1,000 attempts. This is something virtually every human in existence has done. This is the human spirit at work. You are a master of patience and will, having fallen flat on your behind at least a thousand times to learn one simple movement.

Don’t give up just because you’ve attempted to change your habits several times and failed. Think to yourself, “Unless I’ve tried at least a thousand times, I’m not qualified to say whether I’ve failed or not.” Whatever habit you want to change, consistency is the key to creating miracles.

This passage is excerpted from Ilchi Lee’s “The Power Brain: Five Steps to Upgrading Your Brain Operating System.”

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